Message

இதை எழுதியவருக்கு நன்றிகள் பல கோடி.

"I know I'm the no.1 culprit in this. Asking you day and night to fight, asking you to get treatment and try to feel better. Most of the times I tell you to do it for me. Because I know that's an obligation you will have difficulty saying no to. I really do need you and it scares me shitless to think of losing you. To think of life where you don't exist, where I'm alone and without meaning. It's the worst thing that can happen to me- losing someone I love so much. It will undo me permanently. I know it in my bones.

But but but,

I tell you these things only because the main reason why I want you to be alive and happy is not a good enough reason for you. So I don't mention it. You think your life is not worth living. But it is. You're so good hearted, so kind, so selfless and beautiful and intelligent. You have so much to do and enjoy in this lifetime and I want you to have it all. I want you to go places, find all the meaning and purpose you need, I want you to travel and vacation and lounge around with everyone you love, I want you to work passionately towards your dreams and thoughts and be recognised for it. I want you to have quality of life. I want you to be able to pursue all your little wishes. Be able to save up for things and buy them like we all do. I want you to have goals and 5 year plans that you look forward so much to, that you spring out of bed. I want you to feel fit and healthy. I want you to cook everything you want to cook, have the kitchen of your dreams. I want you to go hear amazing intelligent people speak in great auditoriums and have goose flesh, I want you to participate in discussions and debates in topics you're so knowledgeable about and invested in. I want you to make smart finance decisions and buy big beautiful houses. I want you to pick dogs and grow them with all the help you need. I want you to have kids. I want you to live your life fully and happily with people you love. I want you to go to bed next to someone you love and can't wait to hug. I want you to be kissed good night and told how special and loved you are. I want you to have good and crazy stupid traditions and routines. I want you to have the world. If there was ever a way for me to erase all your pain, maybe do a factory reset on your life and give it back to you with full capacity and fervour for you to live your life to the fullest, I will. Even if it means we never become this close and my life is never the same without your constant enriching it. I honestly will. Without a second's delay or doubt. You deserve it. And it will be life's greatest honor."